"Someone asked me if I knew you.
A million memories flashed through my mind,
but I just smiled and said I used to."
~Anonymous
Over the years I have lost some of my best friends - usually by illness and eventual death. The Boyles have not passed away, but our current association would be no different if they had.
In all my years (now over 77), I have never experienced a round-trip friendship like this one; a casual beginning, many years of wonderful friendship, and a miserable ending. Donna initiated our 10-year association at the gym in 2004 and we were close friends for the last five of those years. We visited every week as we walked, or ran, or hiked during that time, and then in October 2014, she and Dave abruptly ended our friendship, saying we could no longer meet. I considered Donna one of my best friends at that time and I was crushed - I thought we would be friends for the rest of my life. Although I don't agree with their reasoning, I do know the motivation for their action. I've spent no time with them since the termination, but we walk and run the same streets and trails so occasionally I will pass Donna and I always say "good morning" and she, except on two occassions, says nothing.
In an encounter on the Canyon Park trails in 2016 I was startled by her hostility as she screamed some pretty hurtful things at me. In a similar encounter in 2018 on the streets near Canyon Park she screamed at me to never talk to her, then in no uncertain terms said she hated me. Hate is a really extreme emotion. During the years we were good friends I never saw an inclination in her to hate someone. I'm disappointed in her --- in her refusal to explain what I have done to cause her hate. I'm also disappointed in myself --- in my failure to maintain a friendship that was very important to me.
We are pictured below at the 2005 Jimmy Stewart Relay Marathon and the 2011 Big Bear Endure the Bear 15K Trail Run. I spend some solitary time on the anniversary of the day they left remembering all the good times we had - in my book, you should never give up on an old friend.
Click Photo to Enlarge - Use Arrows for Next Photo
